SSC Presents: Always the Bridesmaid Edition!

That's right folks...It's that time of year again. If you happen to be a chick "at that age" around the Spring and Summertime you are usually hit with the seasonal influx of weddings. While I can't say I'm exactly the 'marrying' type, (I'm more of the 'doing whatever the hell I feel like' type. This mostly consists of doing comedy and being poor.), I do appreciate floofy dresses, shit tons of delicious food and of course, the ever present, OPEN BAR.


One of my favorite parts of this whole wedding nonsense, is of course, the Bachlorette party. By that I mean, I'll take any opportunity I can get to make delicious food shaped like....well...like a dick. Since I am the Maid of Honor in one of my best friends and fellow Supper Clubber, Emily's wedding, I felt it was the perfect opportunity to put together a kickass party, get shit-tanked and of course make food shaped like my favorite part of the male anatomy. (Hint: It's not his brain.)

For anyone new to SSC, I'd like to note that this blog is not always so...umm...well, you'll see...

Enjoy!

- Christa

Penis (Pasta) Salad with Marinated (Mozzarella) Balls 
You can find Penis Pasta at your friendly neighborhood sex shop. 
If hanging around in a weird porn store makes you a bit squeamish, you can find it here. Yeah, it's like $7 a box, but it's totally worth it! (And I suppose you could make it with regular bowtie or penne pasta...if you really have to.)  

1 box penis pasta

1/2 c Parmesan cheese
8oz grape tomatoes
1/4 c red onion (diced)
kalamata olives (pitted)
8oz container mozzarella balls marinated in oil
regular and fresh basil
salt and pepper to taste


Make pasta according to directions on the box. Put in a large bowl. Add mozzarella balls and use some of the olive oil to lubricate the pasta. Cut grape tomatoes in half. Thinly slice olives. Dice onion. Add to pasta. Add salt, pepper & basil. Toss the salad. (Be careful when tossing. Just like the real thing, penis pasta is a bit delicate when not handled correctly.) Chill.

Christa's Spinach Artichoke Dip
This is one of my favorite recipes to make for a party. Its quick, easy and always get slurped down immediately. You can find the recipe on the SSC 420 Edition. 

I'll bite, nothing about this recipe really screams dick shaped...BUT you can get creative when serving it. Spinach dip is usually served with some thick hearty bread. Buy a nice long baguette and two small bread rolls. Toothpick rolls to either side of one end of the baguette.....GET IT? If you're a bit too eager to dive into this rich creamy dip, you can slice up the bread and re-purpose your dick cake pan (We'll get to that in a minute,) as a serving dish, like we did.

...and now, the eau de resistance....THE PENIS CAKE!

Black Velvet Penis Cake
This is a modified version of the stuffed red velvet cupcake recipe from SSC's Southern Hospitality Edition. (It's called black velvet because I ran out of food coloring. Heh. Also, lets face it, a bright red dick is not exactly a healthy dick, so I feel sort of justified.)

Just like the aforementioned phallus pasta, you can find a dick cake pan at your friendly neighborhood sex store. Since being surrounded by a sea of dicks (both fake and otherwise) has become popular for bachlorette parties in recent years, it's easy to find a dick cake pan in a regular party store or online.







Admittedly, I got a little creative with this one. Penis cake pans are usually a little on the small side (for a cake, not a dick), so you end up with a lot of extra batter. The solution? Strategically placed cupcakes of course! 


Cake
2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Your dick isn't covered? Wrap that shit up!

1 tsp white vinegar
1 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/3 cup oil
2 large eggs

Frosting
2 8-ounce packages cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
a few drops of red food coloring

For cake
Grease that dick cake pan. Everyone loves a nice greasy dick. (Also if you don't your cake won't come out.)

For cupcakes
Put cupcake papers in cupcake tins.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Sift flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into medium bowl. Whisk buttermilk, vinegar, and vanilla in small separate bowl. Using electric mixer, beat sugar and butter in large bowl until well blended. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating after each addition. Add oil. Beat in dry ingredients alternately with buttermilk mixture.

Pour batter into dick cake pan. Bake 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool.

Poor remaining batter into cupcake tins. Bake about 18-20 minutes. Cool.

You can bake the cake and cupcakes at the same time, just take the cupcakes out earlier.

For the Creamy Cheesy frosting
Beat cream cheese and butter in large bowl until smooth. Beat in vanilla.
Add powdered sugar and beat until smooth.

Put frosting into two separate bowls. In one bowl add a few drops of red food coloring, (a little goes a long way). This will give you a nice fleshy hue. You will use this to frost your dick. Use the white frosting for the cupcakes...you know why. Arrange in the manner you see fit.


Other Random Ways to Make Dick Shaped Food

Cock Crudités
carrots
celery
grape or cherry tomatoes
your favorite veggie dip or hummus

Tooth pick one tomato to either side of one end of carrots or celery. Place dip in the middle of a serving platter. Place veggie dicks around it.


Dick Shaped Cheese ball
Find a good cheese ball recipe. (Amy Sedaris has a great one in I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence.) Instead of shaping it into one large ball, shape it into two smaller balls and a log. Arrange appropriately.

Dicks in a Blanket
Re-named pigs in a blanket. I'm pretty sure everyone knows how to make these. But yeah, hot dogs, dicks. Deliciousness. Etc.


Booze Pairings!

OMG! It’s a bachelorette party! We need champagne!!! What? Champagne is expensive???

You can ask anyone, champagne is the official drink of choice at a bachelorette party. Unfortunately, it's also one of the most expensive things you can buy.

So, you love your in-love friend but don't want to spend $50 a bottle of something that you are just about to guzzle? Here in America, you can not get a bottle of champagne under $50. Not to worry. We've got the perfect solution: sparking wine!

- Phoebe

A quick little lesson in bubbles:

Real Champagne can only be grown in the Champagne region of France, and to even be called Champagne it must follow the reagon’s laws of production. The Champagne wine making community, under the auspices of the Comité Interprofessionnel du Vin de Champagne, has developed a comprehensive set of rules and regulations for all wine produced in the region to protect its economic interests.

They include codification of the most suitable growing places; the most suitable grape types, most Champagne is a blend of up to three grape varieties. Pinot noir, Chardonnay and Pinot Meunier. A lengthy set of requirements specifying most aspects of viticulture. This includes pruning, vineyard yield, the degree of pressing, and the time that wine must remain on its lees before bottling. It can also limit the release of Champagne to market to maintain prices. Only when a wine meets these requirements may it be labelled Champagne. The rules agreed upon by the CIVC are submitted for
the INAO's final approval.

Love,
Wikipedia

This all means that champagne is super special and delicious, but if can't afford it.... try these!

Prosecco
Location: Veneto, Italy
Grapes: Prosecco.

This tart, wan grape has found fame in bubbles as the Veneto's sparkling wine and has gained worldwide favor. The Bellini cocktail (cocktail recipe to come later in this bloggage), and Prosecco's supporting role in it, are no doubt a partial cause, as is its carefree image and price. Most Prosecco is made in bulk using the French Charmat method, unencumbered by pretense and meant as a casual, refreshing drink. Having fully exploited the Prosecco market, some producers like Mionetto have
turned to other formulas, like its Sergio Rosé, from red Lagrein and Raboso grapes. There really is no point in buying a Prosecco above $20 in price.


Cava
Location: Spain, mostly Catalonia
Grapes: Macabeo (aka Viura), Parellada, Xarel-lo, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir.

Spain's contribution to bubbly has become a worldwide favorite. In 1970 makers abandoned the term "Champaña" which was pretty smart, considering that sounds dumb. Cava means "cellar" in Catalan, and if inexpensive fizz like Prosecco is made quick and cheap in a closed tank, Cava signals a
Spanish commitment to do things the hard way - retaining traditional Champagne-style winemaking for a wine that rarely tops $15. Though Cava hinges on its own unique trio of grapes - Macabeo, Parellada, Xarel-lo - Chardonnay joined the ranks in 1986 and Pinot Noir is now allowed as
well. Beyond the biggest names, Freixenet and Cordoniu, lies a proliferation of smaller producers making distinctive wines. You can get a great bottle of the stuff for $8-$15


American sparkling wines (the other guys)
Location: United States
Grapes: Mostly Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, some Pinot Meunier, with variations.
 
The major players - California's French transplants at Domaines Carneros and Chandon, Mumm Napa and Roederer Estate, plus Schramsberg, Iron Horse and so on - have long been a familiar sight. But many smaller wineries across the land have joined the bubbly parade.

American bubbles are spreading too! across the Mississippi, though Eastern bubbly rarely travels far from to its native habitat. New York has begun to produce outstanding fizzy drinks in both of its wine growing regions (Look for Lenz, from Long Island's North Fork.) Rhode Island's Sakonnet Vineyards makes its own "Champagne," while Michigan's Larry Mawby dedicated his L. Mawby winery to the stuff.  If you are going to spend big spend domestic, the high end American stuff is great! (...but a bottle of Cook’s for $6 will also get you through the night just fine.)


Australian sparkling wine
Location: Australia
Grapes: Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, some Pinot Meunier

Australia is knows for it’s red, specifically their Shiraz. Australian bubbles were once largely confined to bargain brands But cooler sites in Victoria and Tasmania have been home to a thriving fine-bubbly sector for more than 20 years. Moet & Chandon chose Victoria's Yarra Valley as home to its Australian project in 1985.  Bare Foot wine in my opinion, makes an excellent cocktail.


Soviet Champagne (Sovetskoe Shampanskoe)
Location: Russia and the former Soviet states
Grapes: Chardonnay, Aligote, other.

I happen to work in a wine shop that specializes in Eastern European products, and I can tell you first hand that they do not fuck around with bubbles. The Russian taste for Champagne has been legendary since the armies chasing Napoleon occupied Reims and Epernay in 1814. In 1876, Louis Roederer, hearing of Czar Alexander II's love of the fizz, commissioned a special clear bottle and created Cristal! Catering to the sweet "gout rousse," Champagne houses left far more sugar in bottles destined for Russia. Later, in the Soviet era, with crippling import tariffs, the state chose to produce its own knockoffs from primarily Ukrainian or Georgian grapes. With the fall of Communism, Western fizz returned but the thirst for Shampanskoe hardly slaked. Now private firms churn out surprisingly good semisweet sparkling wine that can be found on these shores for about $10. It’s hard to find because Russian bubbles sound odd, but trust me, its delicious! Find a Wine Gallery and
ask for Bagrationi sparkling.

Enough of that, how about some sparkling cocktails!

Bellini
Bellini’s are actually a traditional Italian wedding shower drink! My source for information was an old Italian woman, who then told me I need to get married soon because I’m very pale and my looks won't last. ...so it MUST be true.
2 oz peach juice or peach puree
4 oz Champagne

Prep:
-Pour the peach juice or peach puree into a Champagne flute.
-Slowly add the Champagne.

Black Velvet
If you have a beer loving bride like our friend Emily here, you have to try this!
This is an easy and strangely delicious drink with a 4:1 ratio of Champagne to black Irish stout.


Classic Champagne Cocktail
If you think your classy, or something.

Soak a sugar cube in bitters, drop it into a flute, fill the flute with
Champagne and garnish with a twist of lemon. This classic drink dates
back to at least the mid-19th century.

French 75
If you don't care to make it to mimosas the next day.
(There are a number of French 75 recipes floating around; the only thing
people agree on is that it's a serious drink with serious ramifications.)

Here's the classic: a splash of simple syrup, a bigger splash of lemon
juice, an even bigger splash (about an ounce) of gin, topped off with a
glassful of Champagne.


Plop Some Fruit In It!
This probably has a name, I have no idea what it is, but it looks really classy and fun when you do it!

Take a strawberry, blueberries, raspberry, or blackberry to glass.
Pour bubbles of it. Also, check out this website! http://www.thefiftybest.com/wine/best_champagne_cocktails/

The spread!

Emily & Shea get close, Laura looks skeptical...

The sole purpose for this photo is that I look cute here.

Shit starts to get real with Shea & Phoebe

Tina, Laura, Emily & Beth

And this, like so many nights, ended in a bar.

Cheers and Congrats Emily!
Christa & Phoebe







About Christa
Christa is a comedian, artist and graphic designer living in Boston. Because most of her family is fresh off the boat, she knows a thing or two about traditional European cooking and baking, provided that the recipes are in English (Thanks a lot, crappy American school system!). She also has a vast knowledge of fancy-smancy beers made by smelly hippies. Although she has no food credits to speak of, generally speaking everything she makes is considered to be "damn good." Check out her other blog Shameless Pomp and Circumstance if you feel like it!

SSC Presents: Chocolate Chip Cookie-tastic Edition!

Uggh its March. You're hoping for Spring, but no matter how hard you wish otherwise, mother nature has at least one more big snowstorm up her sleeve. On this, the most depressing of seasons, there's nothing better than to stay in, crank the heat, curl up with a cocktail and get into some intense baking action!

Since cookies are warm, fun, highly sharable and great for parties, SSC has put together a kickass variety of our favorite chocolate chip cookie recipes. There are about a million different variations of the traditional chocolate chip cookie, so if you like your cookies chewy, cakey, crunchy, munchy or magical, not to worry, we've got them all!

- Christa



Christa's White Chocolate Chip Oatmeal
Cranberry Cookies
Say what you will about oatmeal cookies, I've never had anyone think this recipe was anything short of totally awesome!





2/3 cup butter (softened)
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cup oatmeal
1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
8 oz white chocolate chips
8 oz sweetened dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 375. Beat butter and sugar together in a large bowl with an electric mixture. Add eggs. Combine flour, baking soda, oatmeal and salt in a medium bowl. Add gradually to butter mixture. Stir in white chocolate chips and cranberries.

Spoon onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Each cookie should be about a tbsp of dough.

Bake 10-12 min or until golden brown.




Jamie's Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup canned pumpkin
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Combine pumpkin, sugar, vegetable oil, and egg. In a separate bowl, stir together flours, baking powder, ground cinnamon, and pumpkin pie spice and salt. Dissolve the baking soda with the milk and stir in. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture and mix well. Add vanilla, chocolate chips and nuts.

Drop by spoonful on greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for approximately 10 minutes or until lightly brown and firm.




Sarah's Salted Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars
Sweet, savory and wonderfully chewy-gooey this recipes suits any taste!

2 1/8 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
12 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled to room temperature
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups chocolate chips
10 ounces caramel candy squares, unwrapped
3 tablespoons heavy cream
Sea salt, for sprinkling over caramel and bars

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Spray a 2-quart baking pan (which is an 11 X 7 pan-I used a glass Pyrex dish) with nonstick cooking spray and set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, salt, and baking soda. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, mix the melted butter and sugars together until combined. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract and mix until smooth. Slowly add the dry ingredients and mix on low, just until combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.

In a large microwave safe bowl, combine the caramels and heavy cream. Microwave caramels on High until caramels are melted, stirring every 20 seconds. This will take about 2 minutes, depending on your microwave.

Divide the cookie dough in half. Press half of the cookie dough into the prepared pan, smoothing the top with the spatula. Pour hot caramel over the cookie dough. Sprinkle caramel with sea salt. Drop spoonfuls of cookie dough over the caramel and spread dough with a spatula until the caramel is covered. Sprinkle the bars with additional sea salt.

Bake cookie bars for 30 minutes or until the top of the bars are light golden brown and the edges start to pull away from the pan. Cool bars on a wire rack to room temperature. Cut bars into squares and serve.

Mom's Soft Chocolate Chip Cookies
This is the recipe my mom would use to make the most perfect, cakey chocolate chip cookie imaginable. I grew up helping her make these so they've always held a special place in my heart and of course my stomach!

2 cups light brown sugar
1 cup Crisco
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
3 1/2 cups flour
1 cup milk
3 tbsp vinegar
1 package chocolate chips (6 oz or more)
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or more)
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 375. In a large bowl cream together sugar, Crisco and eggs. In a separate bowl or measuring cup, add vinegar to milk. (This basically the same as using buttermilk, but I've never actually tried it with buttermilk.) Add the milk, flour and baking soda to the dough. Once dough is well mixed add walnuts and chocolate chips. Dough will be lighter and fluffier than a normal cookie dough.


Spoon on to a lightly greased cookie sheet, making cookies about a tbsp in size.
Bake 7-10 minutes or until light golden brown.




Jamie's Vegan Chewy Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies
This recipe is adapted from Veganomicon and works quite well if you're looking to make your cookies a bit more magical than usual ;)





1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour (You can use all all purpose- I just like to attempt to throw in a whole grain!)
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 ts salt
2/3 cup vegetable or canola oil
1.25 cup sugar
1.5 tablespoons ground flaxseed
1/2 cup soymilk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon almond extract
3/4 cup vegan chocolate chips (most store brands like Shaws or Trader Joes are vegan -- aka no milk- but if you are not vegan- use whatever you want!)

Preheat oven to 350. In large bowl mix flours, cocoa , baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl mix oil and sugar. Next mix in flaxseeds, soymilk, vanilla and almond extract into the oil and sugar mix. Fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients a little bit at a time. Next mix in the chocolate chips. Mixture will be stiff.

Prepare a two baking sheets with parchament or foil. Roll ~1 inch balls of the chocolate dough. Flatten balls slightly. Space balls about 2 inches apart.

Bake in preheated oven for ~10 minutes.
Remove from oven and cool at least 5 minutes.



Anne's Crunchy Chocolate Chip Cookies
About 30 years ago, when my Mom worked as a secretary in NYC, one of her co-workers gave her this and several other fantastic recipes. I've never met Anne, but I've always been thankful for the wonderful culinary experiences she gave us, especially this one!

2/3 cup Crisco
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
3 cups flour (heaping)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup chopped walnuts
12 oz package chocolate chips

Cream sugars and shortening together. Add eggs, then gradually add dry ingredients. When mixed thoroughly add walnuts and chocolate chips. Drop spoonfuls onto a lightly greased cookie sheet.

Bake at 375 for 8-10 minutes.



Booze Pairings!

I myself do not know how to make cookies. I have tried many times, and it always ends in disaster. I always end up with a burnt, yet somehow undercooked, over salted mess! I can sear a steak, I can cook a curry, I can even use the oven to make a pretty great pizza, but when you say cookies, I say "I know a place." I can however, eat the shit out of a cookie, and tell you what it will pair nicely with.

- Phoebe

Wine and... Desert!

When pairing a wine with cookies I start with the color of the cookie. If its dark (chocolate, lots of cinnamon, etc.) go with a red and I'd recommend a nice rich Cabernet. If it is a lighter cookie (sugar, lemon, oatmeal etc.) I would go with a white, like an oaky creamy Chardonnay. I find that chocolate chip cookies go well with both. If you have any kind of fruit or jelly on your cookie seek out a sweet rose wine. The most important thing to remember however, is that all sweets go with bubbles! You can also pair cookies with Tawny Port, if you are feeling like a 90 year old man.

Dark cookies = red
Light cookies = white
Fruity cookies = rose
All cookies = bubbles!

Beer and Cookies!

Sarah's Salted Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars & Lindemans Framboise

Sweet, salty and tart makes a timeless combo. The chewy cookie’s salty, sweet caramel fudge and sugary cookie dough, with a splash of this framboise adds a layer of sweet, and tart raspberries that sink into the cookie. With the tongue properly coated in gooey goodness, the beer’s carbonic punch sweeps the mouth clean.

ALSO TRY: Dogfish Head Fort, Mort Subite Framboise

Jamie's Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies & Russian Imperial Stout, North Coast Brewing Old Rasputin

This creamy, almost opaque stout is intense and deep, with hints of cloves, blackstrap molasses, and a whisper of smoke. It's not sweet at all, but it balances perfectly with a nice spicy pumpkin cookie.

Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar & Christa’s Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Cookies

Give this a try. The sweet malt, oatmeal cookie pair great, while the hazelnut plays off the super-sweet white chocolate which adds a very interesting dimension. Also, the chocolate and the brown sugar really bring out the hazelnut in the beer. The cranberry wraps everything up by adding a little tart tang at the end that really puts a finish to it.

Other beers that go will with most cookies...

Kona Coco Brown
Young's Double Chocolate Stout
Young’s Banana Bread Beer
BBC Coffeehouse Porter
Good Old Guinness
Bitish Style Bitter (Ales go surprisingly well with cookies too!)

Cheers!
Christa, Phoebe & the Ladies of SSC






About Christa
Christa is a comedian, artist and graphic designer living in Boston. Because most of her family is fresh off the boat, she knows a thing or two about traditional European cooking and baking, provided that the recipes are in English (Thanks a lot, crappy American school system!). She also has a vast knowledge of fancy-smancy beers made by smelly hippies. Although she has no food credits to speak of, generally speaking everything she makes is considered to be "damn good." Check out her other blog Shameless Pomp and Circumstance if you feel like it!

SSC Super Bowl Edition II: Malt, Meat & Melted Cheese!

I wish I liked foot ball, but I don’t, so I wont pretend to care about the Super Bowl. I do however, care about snack food and beer a great deal. What I love the most is the opportunity to stuff my face while most of the party guests are preoccupied.

To be honest, I’m not even going to a Super Bowl party this year, I am stuck at work selling the football life water that is beer to my thirsty customers, but I will be thinking of all of you, and your snacking needs. For this edition of Super Sanity Club the girls and I have put together a variety of party foods for you football lovers, and you lovers of football lovers alike. Also, in accordance with this most special of days, thought I would include a more in-depth beer section. Enjoy!

- Phoebe


Mick's Shrimp & Sausage JAMBALAYA!
This recipe is taken partly from the Louisiana World Expo Cookbook, partly from watching my maternal grandmother (Nana Robitaille, eh?) and partly from my own experiments.






Small package of bacon 1 package of either andouille (an-DOO-ee) sausage or Italian hot sausage 2 lbs of large shrimp
(I usually use fresh shrimp and shell and devein them myself but, if you’re in a hurry, use the pre-cooked shrimp but make sure you pinch off the tails)
Olive oil
One chopped onion
One chopped green pepper (small)
Two or three chopped celery sticks
1-2 tbsps minced garlic (I buy jar of garlic it’s faster/easier)
Cayenne pepper Chili powder Parsley Rice
2 cups chicken stock
fresh parsley
One large can of tomatoes with basil
(I use Tuttorrosso brand, either crushed or the whole large plum tomatoes which I chop into chunks in the pan)
Cajun spices (optional—there are various kinds in most supermarkets)
Salt and pepper

Start drinking (only if of legal age and not driving) and put on some good Cajun music, (Beau Soliel works for me!)

Put 4 or 5 strips of bacon in a large skillet and cook until well done, then crumble or chop into small pieces. Drain off most of the melted fat. Put bacon bits aside.

Chop sausage into small (bite-size) pieces and put in skillet in which you cooked the bacon. I cook sausage til it begins to brown. Remove sausage with slotted spoon. Set aside. Add a little olive oil to sausage drippings (hey, ain’t no one said this was heart-healthy), put in about a tbsp of minced garlic and in that saute onions, pepper, celery, and about a quarter-cup of parsley.

Put sautéed veggies plus bacon bits and sausage into a large pot and pour in the crushed tomatoes including all the liquid in the can. (At this point I usually add another cup of chicken stock or maybe even a small can of crushed tomatoes and garlic.) Mix this up a bit, bring to a slow boil and immediately reduce to a low simmer. Simmer covered over very low heat about 30 mins stirring occasionally.

While main pot is simmering, cook shrimp in large skillet (you might want to hit them with salt, pepper and any of the many so-called “Cajun spices.”) Add shrimp to the main pot. Stir. Add and stir in chili powder and cayenne. The amount depends on your taste/tolerance for spicy foods. I’d say the wussy quantities would be a teaspoon of chili powder and maybe a quarter teaspoon of the cayenne, but you can kick it up from there to Total Nuclear as taste dictates.

Cook a cup or two of rice and add to main pot. This should give you roughly enough jambalaya for about 12 to 15 servings.




Christa's Bacon & Beer Cheese Dip
This might just be the easiest dip ever. I'm almost a little embarrassed that it involves a shit ton of processed cheese but in the name of deliciousness I will make exceptions!





8oz package of Velveta or other processed cheese
8oz package of cream cheese
1 tbsp chopped garlic
3 scallions
1/2 can beer (12 fl oz)
6 pieces of bacon, cooked and crumbled (optional)

1 large round pumpernickel (or other dark/hearty) bread or a heat proof serving dish
soft or hard pretzels (I used Super Pretzels), hearty bread

In a saucepan saute chopped garlic with a small amount of butter or cooking spray, about 1 minute. Chop scallions and add to pot. Saute another minute. Cube processed cheese and cream cheese and add to pot. While mixture is melting add beer and stir. When mixture is smooth, sprinkle in bacon and stir. Remove from heat.

Serve in a heat proof dish or a hollowed out round bread. Serve with soft or hard pretzels or some kind of hearty bread.



Jamie's Buffalo Chicken Dip*
3 or 4 Chicken breasts
2 blocks of 8oz cream cheese
16 oz Ranch dressing (1 large bottle)
12 oz Franks Red Hot Original (buffalo) sauce (1 bottle) 1 pkg. shredded cheddar cheese
tortilla chips, crackers or celery


Boil chicken breasts and let cool. Once cooled, shred chicken into very fine strings. Mix shredded chicken with 12oz (1 bottle) of Franks Red Hot Sauce. In a medium pan, heat ranch dressing and cream cheese until melted. Mix the chicken mixture with the dressing/cheese mixture. Pour into casserole dish.

Cook at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes or until hot through, then spread cheddar cheese on top. Cook for 5 more minutes or until cheese is melted. Let cool (a little) before serving. Serve with tortilla chips or crackers and celery. The Scoops Tortilla chips worked the best!

*If you want to go the healthier route, use to low fat cream cheese, ranch dressing, and cheddar.



Emily's Awesome Guacamole!
We know we've given you this more than once but it's a fantastic, simple standby recipe for almost any party occasion. Find it on our SSC: Texican/Mexican Edition!









Booze Pairings!
If you have been tasked with getting the beer for your party, and your friends are fans of craft beer, have I made the list for you! If you're not into fancy-smancy beers just grab a good old 30 rack of Bud or Bud Light from your local family owned liquor store (not Whole Foods). There is no shame in that!

I've suggested a variety of beers from all across the flavor spectrum. Something light: a pale Lager or a Pilsner, something wheaty: a Hefewiesen (Hehe, always makes me think of Christa), something medium dark: a malty amber or hoppy like a pale ale or IPA, and some deep and dark: porter, or stout. Also, because this is the FUCKING SUPER BOWL, let’s keep the spirit alive and keep it all American!

- Phoebe



Your Lighter Beer: Mama’s Yella Pills, Dales Pale Ale
Pours active a golden body with an everlasting white fluffy head. It has an aroma of spicy hops, dirty grass, and has a slight citrusy background. With mellow flavors of citrus, light lemon, spicy hop bitterness, and alight zest, it is also light in body with a medium prickly carbonation. It's refreshing, the light zest is a nice touch, and it is true to the pilsner style.









Your Wheat Beer:Heinnieweisse Weissebier, Pork Slap
I like to call this beer an acquired taste. It has mixed reviews on BeerAdvocate.com but I happen to enjoy it quite a bit. The beer pours decently with a nice hazy golden straw color, a nice white head, and some lacing on the glass.

The beer smells a bit sour, but I really like that and it has a nice yeasty, wheat scent up front followed by a lemon zest smell on the back end. The tastes is something distinct to American wheat beers. It has a mild lemon zest taste up front with a wheat finish. The mouthfeel is not overwhelming as the beer is decently carbonated, light bodied, and leaves you with a mildly bitter finish.




Your IPA or Amber: Berkshire Brewing Company,
Lost Sailor IPA
This beer is great for both hop-heads and more mellow IPA enjoyers alike. It pours a nice deep gold color with a billowing white head and big bubbles. The head sticks around for a while. It has a musty, earthy hop aroma with a smidge of honey and biscuits. Maybe even freshly baked white bread aroma too.

The taste starts out a bit like a chocolate like malt flavor. It has a little hint of earthy and floral hops. The bitterness is all at the tail end. The mouthfeel is medium bodied and well carbonated. One of my favorite things about this beer is that it is entirely organic, unpasteurized, and completely preservative free! My absolute favorite thing about this beer is that it comes in a gowler. There is nothing like sharing a jug of booze with your buddies!




Your Dark Beer: Mayflower Porter
I love a nice heavy beer to go with all this meaty goodness. The Mayflower Porter has been my go to port all year at the good old Wine Gallery, where I work. With the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl this year, what's better then a hint of American history with Mayflower? The beer is dark brown, nearing black, with a quarter inch of beige head. The aroma brings roasted malt in the English style, toffee, dark fruits and hints of chocolate. The flavor brings toasted malt, roast, alcohol, toffee to mind. Delicious! It's medium to light bodied and overall, very drinkable and tasty.





Quick suggestion: Get a crate of water. Your guests will appreciate it after all that salty food and beer. Also, you'll avoid party goers awkwardly asking for a glass of water, or feeling totally full of food because it seems like beer is the only option. Allowing your guest to just grab water themselves the the easiest option, plus it lessens the cleanup.







Cheers!
Christa, Phoebe & all the fine folks of SSC!



Looking for even more awesome Super Bowl party recipes?
Check out last year's Super Bowl post here!





About Phoebe

Phoebe is comedian, and wine shop manager, who is also somehow pursuing a masters degree in clinical social work. Though she has no real food credits on her resume, she's well versed in wine and food pairing. She was raised on farm fresh food in Maine, learned about Asian cooking during her time in Thailand, became a seafood fanatic living in Newport RI, and is now well on her way to becoming a full fledged foodie/functioning alcoholic in Boston.

SSC Presents: Laura's 7 Course Holiday Extravaganza!

Going home for the holidays can be dreaded for some - full of those awkward moments you'd love to avoid when everyone is in forced merriment mode. The typical escape in my hometown is the local dive bar serving up cheep drinks and shitty bands. Most of my high school is there after Christmas dinner to drink the pain away and catch up with those you probably never gave the time of day to back when you were a selfish teenager.


This year instead of quickly stuffing myself with delicious food my Mother and Aunt have slaved over and ducking out right after desert I decided it was time to reward my family for being fairly
normal and treat them to a 7 course wine pairing meal. It was definitely one of the best presents I've ever given and I think they truly appreciated it. I purchased wine samplers for everyone from our former SSC writer Rachel's new company tastingroom.com. With her sommelier knowledge she helped me develop a menu that was truly unforgettable! Now if my family could just learn to stop asking me if I've 'found anyone special yet'...

- Laura

The Menu
Executive Chef, Laura Cook • Sous Chef, Nancy Cook • Sommelier, Gary Cook

Fried Oyster with Rouille Sauce
Spring Rolls with Shrimp
Papaya Dungeness Crab Salad
Seared Scallops
Charcuterie Plate
*Lemon Sorbet*
Moroccan Slow-Cooked Lamb
Flourless Chocolate Cake


The Recipes

Fried Oysters with Rouille Sauce

Oysters
1/4 cup vegetable oil
saltine crackers
6 eggs

Heat 1/4 cup vegetable oil on high in frying pan. Whip up several eggs in a bowl. Crush saltine crackers seasoned with salt and pepper by placing in a gallon zip lock back and use rolling pan to crush. Place in shallow bowl. Dip oysters in egg then cracker crumbs, coating thoroughly before placing in frying pan. Heat until golden brown on both sides.

Rouille

Rouille sauce recipe can be found on our 'A Taste of New England' post!

Spring Rolls with Fish Sauce

• 1/4 cup fish sauce
• 2 tablespoons thinly sliced green onion
• 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
• Pinch of dried crushed red pepper
• 2 teaspoons olive oil
• 2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 4 cups hot water
• 8 6-inch-diameter Vietnamese spring-roll sheets
• 16 uncooked medium shrimp, peeled, deveined, halved lengthwise
• 4 small Bibb lettuce leaves, halved
• 1/2 cup thin strips green onions
• 1/2 cup thin strips seeded peeled cucumber
• 4 teaspoons minced fresh mint leaves

Mix first 4 ingredients in small bowl. Set dipping sauce aside. Heat oil in medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add ginger; sauté until fragrant, about 10 seconds. Add shrimp and cilantro; sauté until shrimp are just cooked through, about 1 minute. Remove from heat. Season with salt and pepper.

Pour hot water into large bowl. Using tongs, dip 1 spring-roll sheet in water 5 seconds. Remove from water; place on wet towel. Let stand 30 seconds (spring-roll sheet should be soft and pliable; if still stiff, sprinkle with more water).

Place half of lettuce leaf across top third of spring-roll sheet. Arrange 4 shrimp halves on lettuce. Top with 1 tablespoon each of green onions and cucumber. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon mint over filling. Fold sides of spring-roll sheet over ends of filling.

Starting at filled side, roll into cylinder. Place on plate. Repeat with remaining spring-roll sheets, lettuce, shrimp, green onions, cucumber and mint. Serve with sauce.

Papaya Dungeness Crab Salad with Curry Sauce & Citrus Emulsion Dressing

• 2 large Dungeness Crabs - cracked
• 3 Papayas - peeled, halved with seeds removed
• Boston lettuce
• 2 avocados sliced
• 1/4 cup toasted almond slices
• curry sauce (great recipe for it here)

Citrus Emulsion

3 tablespoons orange juice
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon grated orange peel

Mix all ingredients and season with salt and pepper.


Place 2-3 leaves of lettuce on plate with 1/2 a papaya on top. Fill papaya pit with crab and drizzle crab with curry sauce. Add avocado slices and almonds then dress with citrus emulsion.

Seared Scallops
1/4 pounds large sea scallops (tough ligament from side of each discarded)
7 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into tablespoons, divided

Heat 1 tablespoon butter in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until foam subsides, then sear scallops, turning once, until golden brown and just cooked through, about 5 minutes total.

Wasabi Mashed Potatoes
3lbs potatoes- pealed and cubed
1 tbsp wasabi powder
3/4 cup milk
4 tbsp butter

In small bowl combine wasabi powder and 1tbsp water and let sit 5 min. Place potatoes in large pot; cover with salted water. Bring to boil and cook until tender (about 20 min).

In medium bowl combine milk and wasabi paste. Add milk mixture and butter to potatoes. Mash until somewhat smooth. Season with salt and pepper.

Cilantro and Parsley Pesto
3/4 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley
1/2 cup fresh cilantro
2 scallions - coarsely chopped
2 large cloves garlic
2 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tbsp white wine vinegar
1/2 cup canola oil

Food process or in a blender puree parsley, cilantro, scallions, garlic, lime juice and vinegar. With machine running slowly pour in 1/2 cup canola oil. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

Plate mashed potatoes with several scallops on top. Drizzle with pesto mixture and serve warm.

Moroccan Slow-Cooked Lamb

• 1 tablespoon ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons ground coriander
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon fennel seeds
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 4 tablespoons olive oil, divided
• 1 large onion, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 2 cups low-salt chicken broth
• 2 1/2 pounds trimmed boned lamb shoulder, cut into 1 1/2- to 2-inch pieces
• 1 15 1/2-ounce can garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained
• 1 cup dried apricots (about 5 ounces)
• 2 large plum tomatoes, chopped
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• 1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
• 2 teaspoons (packed) grated lemon peel
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

Mix first 6 ingredients in large bowl. Add lamb and toss to coat. Heat 2 tablespoons oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Working in batches, add lamb to skillet and cook until browned on all sides, turning occasionally and adding 2 more tablespoons oil to skillet between batches, about 8 minutes per batch.

Transfer lamb to another large bowl after each batch. Add onion and tomato paste to drippings in skillet. Reduce heat to medium; sauté until onion is soft, about 5 minutes. Add broth, garbanzo beans, apricots, tomatoes, cinnamon sticks, ginger, and lemon peel and bring to boil, scraping up browned bits.

Return lamb to skillet and bring to boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer until lamb is just tender, about 1 hour. Uncover and simmer until sauce thickens enough to coat spoon, about 20 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

(Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cool slightly. Refrigerate uncovered until cold, then cover and keep chilled. Rewarm over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally.) Transfer lamb and sauce to bowl. Sprinkle with cilantro and serve.




Flourless Chocolate Cake

1 pound semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
1/4 cup coffee liqueur
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
7 large eggs, room temperature1 cup sugar
powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 9-inch-diameter springform pan. Line bottom of pan with parchment paper. Stir chocolate, butter, coffee liqueur, and vanilla in heavy large saucepan over low heat until melted and smooth. Cool to lukewarm. Using electric mixer, beat eggs and 1 cup sugar in large bowl until thick and pale, and slowly dissolving ribbon forms when beaters are lifted, about 6 minutes. Fold 1/3 of egg mixture into lukewarm chocolate mixture. Fold remaining egg mixture into chocolate mixture.

Place prepared pan on baking sheet. Transfer batter to pan. Bake about 55 minutes or until a toothpick poked in the center comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes. Gently press down edges of cake. Cool completely in pan. (Cake can be prepared up to 1 day ahead. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate. Let stand at room temperature 1 hour before continuing.)

Run knife around pan sides to loosen cake. Remove sides of pan; transfer cake to platter. Remove parchment paper. Sprinkle cake with powdered sugar and serve.

Wine Pairings
Wine samplers purchased from our former SSC writer Rachel's new company tastingroom.com!
The wine pairing is listed under each course.

Fried Oyster with Rouille Sauce
Conegliano Valdobbiadene Prosecco, Italy

Spring Rolls with Shrimp
Colomé ’10 Calchaqui Torrontes, ColoméValle, Argentina

Papaya Dungeness Crab Salad
Moss Wood ’09 White Blend, Margaret River, Australia

Seared Scallops
Blackbird ’10 “Arriviste” Rosé, Napa Valley, California

Charcuterie Plate
Château de Pierreux ’09 “Brouilly” Gamay Noir, Brouily, Beajoulais, France

Moroccan Slow-Cooked Lamb
Argyle Winery ’08 “Reserve” Pinot Noir, Willamette Valley, Oregon

Flourless Chocolate Cake
Brokenwood ’09 Shiraz, Hunter Valley, Australia

The Menu, Charcuterie Plate

Lemon Sorbet, Family fun!

Cheers!

Christa, Phoebe and Laura

About Laura
Laura manages consumer marketing for Sonos, a wireless music system. Her great loves are travel, music, eating and drinking – a nice pairing, don’t you think? Since she’s managed to find a job that has to do with music, all her spare time is spent traveling the world tasting local libations and looking for her next great meal. Born and raised in organic Oregon, Laura has always had a taste for fresh and local food and recently has been getting pretty good at making it on her own,thanks to her weekly vegetable delivery from Boston Organics!